One word that changed my life

Lately, I've had a lot of conversations with family and friends about their search for happiness or their life's purpose. Everyone seems stuck. Nobody is sure what they want to do. They talk about having too many passions, and not knowing what makes them happy.

I feel for them, because on the surface it seems like everyone else has the answer. But I've been asking them to challenge the idea that you find your purpose first and then take action.

Here's the problem. Happiness, purpose and meaning aren't things you can chase directly. Instead, think of them as what scientists call "emergent phenomena." One grain of sand doesn't seem important, but put thousands of grains together and you get a beautiful beach. Individually, the grains don't mean much. Together, they're transformative.

All this means is that they're outcomes created by smaller parts coming together in just the right way.

Purpose works exactly like this. It's the result of countless small, intentional actions building on each other until, suddenly, they create something meaningful. It's waking up every day, exploring your world and your life, and seeing what makes you tick. Do that long enough and meaning finds you.

The best way I've heard this idea explained is by Viktor Frankl. He wrote:

"Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue."

And that's the word that changed everything for me: "ensue."

Ensue simply means to follow naturally as a result. Your purpose and your happiness come naturally after you take meaningful actions, not before.

So stop waiting to find your purpose. Don't feel bad that you don't know what you need to do. That just says you're at the start of your journey, and if I'm being honest, it's the part that's most fun.